I already told myself never to attach too much emotion to someone unless you are already ready for the consequences that you might meet. Well, I guess, this is just another reason of mine to share. Became so busy this past few weeks. Even though I want to keep my post updated, still I can’t since I don’t even have that story to share.
This was happen just last week, recently. HA-HA. I said I will stop communicating with that person, stop all the lies and dramas. But then I can’t resist myself but still keep on coming back for us to be together again. I don’t really even know to this person that accepts me no matter what. Consider my flirt side, mix emotions and other personalities I have. No wonder, even though at the first place I’m just trying to know where I can find myself with, I started to fall in love with this person. It’s actually not a good idea because we haven’t seen each other yet personally. Maybe through online and some other communication media that links us. I have that chance to meet other people but when it comes to that special person, I’m afraid. Maybe on the society that we maybe judge, against us or whatever they might think when we will be together.
We already discussed and shared our dramas in life, what supposed we want to have even in a relationship but that conversation doesn’t last for long. I said I will stop but then again I will come back again to court that person. Until I realized, it’s just keep on repeating. I don’t want someone to be sad and cry because of me. I experienced this kind of feelings before on my previous relationship but after I felt that person was just using me, I stop all those sweetness and caring I gave. I felt I experienced a very traumatic scenario when it comes to relationship. Until then, I never become so serious to my ex’s. Whenever we go clubbing and hangout with my friends, we just only do flirt and nothing too much beyond that. This special person already knew this stories. I don’t know if that person would really believe or not but still the acceptance is there.
I don’t know what are the other things we talked on our last conversation, so I just keep repeating all those recorded calls we had on my phone, those messages and images I got from that person were also saved, I know it will be hard to move on if I will still keep those files but I know those memories will of course will never be deleted. If ever someone deserving come along, it will not be hard for them to love this person. Well I can say is that, all of those impossibilities someone might not accept, for this person, understanding and acceptance still occur for the relationship to be strong. It is just me who have a problem on myself and never appreciate all the effort that person gave. I don’t know either why? And how will I truly be contended?
After the break-up we had, still I can’t stop myself look on the pictures, status, post, updates and everything that person still do. Maybe just some few time, another time, weeks or months, I can recover into this kind of feelings. What I’m just hoping for now, is that, that person will be happier now without me. Without me, who’s so melodramatic, emotional, sentimental, mental and anything might occur. HA-HA
My feelings still remain after all. But I know this is just temporary. I already left without further reasons. And with that, anyone might also do the same, forget that person who can’t truly accept you on whoever and whatever you are.