I had again the feelings of becoming insane. LOL😀 What with this earth? Maybe it’s because I don’t spend time to God for this past few weeks and my faith on everything is decreasing. I don’t even know to myself. Jeez, even I don’t know what I should do with this. (Happenings in my environment, in my life). This is really stupid. I started to love that person but my love is fading and now, the words which are formed inside my head is to STOP this strange feelings. This is really not a good idea and sticking more to this, I’m just letting myself getting used to it.
Last night, I was drunk. Slightly tipsy and exhausted from the party of my friend somewhere. It was a house party actually. It wasn’t hard for me to go travel since we have our own auto at that night. What just makes me worried were the happenings from that party. Wherein your crush is kissing another special someone, crying all over to those friend zone scenarios and having an affair with someone who is not good idea because of the differences in both of your personalities.
I don’t know what comes to my mind and I still go with that special someone last night then brought that person to our house, introduced to my parents and slept here for just one night. Well when it comes to my classmates, that’s fine but with this, Jeez, what’s wrong with me? I don’t even really like that person after all. Maybe just for experimenting, testing and anything. LOL😀 It’s the feeling on which, that person was drunk too and that person don’t want to remove the hands on your waist and keeps hugging you then telling you, that person loves you so much and you’ll be only owned by that person. (Strange – Obsessed. I hope you get what I mean by this statement). I’m a flirt type of person and I admit that to myself but with this, I really don’t know. LOL😀 This is insane, stupid and freaking relationship you could ever imagined.
Somewhat still sweet but, will you ever imagined spending the night with that person? It might be good if you really like and love that person but if you don’t have any feelings and you can’t say it right away in front of that person, still I don’t know. It’s hard if I’m going to share this with my parents, they will really and will never understand so I just type it all here in this blog to remove that strange feelings which keeps me anxious inside. (Point to the mind, then down to heart).
Earlier this morning, my mom knew what happened. Not the hugging and thrilling point consequences, but that I brought that special person here inside our house. My parents were just worried that, what if that person was member of a gang, and all what we had done last night were just part of the plan and it’s a trap. Afterwards, they’re not just a gang but also a burglar. LOL😀 My parents really had those so futuristic strange of minds visions but still that’s also good to think and to analyze that what if that was really true since I don’t usually do hang outs with that person I’ve been sharing in this blog post.
What I really want now is to have some peace of mind. I don’t really want to stress myself thinking about this stupid stuffs that’s why instead keep them all in my mind, I share it. Just to release my temper inside and nothing more. It might sound unfair for those persons I add here to my blog post, but this feeling really makes me sick. I don’t really want to feel this at the first place that’s why I’m just playing around with those relationships I had but if this could be the karma they used to say, I’m really sorry. I just don’t handle these things for good and better for now because I don’t even know where to see myself on those kind of relationship.