Blank Spaces

It’s me again. Yeah just another me who wants to do another blogging stories. Ha-ha another moments to share. I even missed blogging since I became busy with my life in terms of studies, religion, parents, friends and love life. But this love life really don’t bother me lot but sometimes I just can’t control myself trying to understand my feelings and why does it need to be like this. Something strange and then you come to the point you’re lying to yourself. You don’t really like that person; you’re just using them for your own purposes. To imagined how to love in some other way.

I don’t believe in this kind of feelings. This scenario. Ha-ha what’s the right term should be? I don’t know well. I just feel happy when I’m doing this but still in the end of those times, I feel like stupid. Someone who’s crazy on this kind of stuff there are some time I imagined myself being with no one. Just alone.. Yeah all by myself ha-ha but then suddenly someone appeared then asked me to act just naturally. Love and react what is true and being someone whose not lying to everyone else emotion. I know how it is hard to be like that, you already love that person but you can not really be part of their life because you’re not destined for them. I don’t want to look for someone, if ever that person arrived that’s the time I’m going to ask myself is that really the person whom I’m looking for. Ha-ha so melodramatic.

I have lots of projects this semester since next semester is the start of my intern, our professors started to do lot of activities to us. It’s alright because we will need them when we start our internship program. I want to be busy, to do lot of works but still having a balance lifestyle. I don’t want to be involved too much in love. Yeah definitely love since it’s just bother me so much. I feel envy to some who have partner but it doesn’t mean I also want to be like them. I’m just happy for them. Ha-ha I don’t know why am I sharing this to you… Maybe I’m so crazy… I can’t control the feelings, my emotions inside. And I can’t stop thinking about this so I just post it here on my blog share it to those who would want to read this. 😀 I never thought that love would be something difficult sometimes and strange and most of all so mysterious. Ha-ha maybe it’s just me who is mysterious.

I don’t know to who I want to be. Be I mean in a partner. I don’t know whom will I like most and to whom will I be attracted. But love doesn’t even define like that it’s just me who feel that kind of emotion. Come on! I know it’s hard to believe that I’m falling faster to that someone who I don’t know well. This is crazy. Ha-ha but still thank you because I learn that not all fake relationships need to be fake. If you realize your mistake and become true to yourself, still if that person cares for you then they will still accept you no matter what. I just loved talking to them all night long. Even we talked nonsense things and repetitive questions. I know in myself I really starting to love that person too much but still I need to end all this things, all this illusions. Ha-ha I really don’t know. It’s like I’m typing into blank spaces and still the response is blank… I just need to sleep. Maybe I just need to have a rest and stop this I can’t understand post from me. I’m sorry if I disturb you trying to read this. It’s just really hard for me to move on but I really need to stop this.


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